It’s normal to feel disenchanted and flat-out sad about Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve when we can’t spend time with people near and dear to us. While those feelings are normal and expected, it’s essential to find coping strategies to make the most of the season, no matter what. We solicited experts for their best advice for feeling connected and remaining positive during the holidays. To feel closer to loved ones, certified holistic wellness coach Kama Hagar suggests putting innovative spins on traditional routines: maybe a cook-off where every household recreates a classic dish and everyone votes on the presentation, or a cook-along where the family secret techniques and ingredients are revealed. “How incredible is it that we have this technology? Hagar asks. “Don’t give up on it. Get creative together.” To go one step further, ship the final goods to the elder members of the family. “You could schedule a virtual cookie-making class with your mom or bake your grandparents goodies,” Hagar suggests. “You might deliver food to an elderly person who may not be able to get to the store,” says Amy Cooper Hakim, PhD, an industrial-organizational psychology practitioner. “Or you might call someone who is alone and in need of some company. You could even make holiday cards or ’thinking of you’ cards to deliver to nursing homes or hospitals.” Giving back in this way improves your spirits, even if you can’t be with your loved ones. RELATED: 5 Surprising, Science-Backed Benefits of Volunteering “When people may be experiencing increased levels of anxiety, stress, helplessness, depression, loneliness, and/or grief, having one’s support system to lean on and give emotional support back to can be very comforting and grounding for each other,” says psychologist Yvonne Thomas, PhD. “You can create new positive holiday memories that can be very empowering and uplifting.” RELATED: 14 Inexpensive Homemade Gifts That Feel Extra Special “Consider creating a memory box that contains reminders of the person who has died. You can include photos, quotes you associate with them, any mementos you may have,” Dr. Ivanov suggests. And if you can’t do this project in person, pick up the phone to share stories, talk about how much you miss them, and acknowledge your grief. RELATED: 5 Healthy Strategies for Coping With Grief According to Hagar, feeling loved is vitally important to a human’s well-being, so take on the task of practicing a thoughtful gesture weekly from November until January (and beyond, because, why not?). “Call someone you know that has no family, write a letter to your recently widowed family friend, or reach out to someone who was recently divorced or lost their job,” Hagar says. “The holidays are super hard on everyone, especially those in lonely or insecure situations. Make it a weekly practice to reach out to call or FaceTime to make others feel the holiday spirit.” Instead, Hakim suggests taking the pressure off by having an off-screen toast with wine, coffee, tea, or hot chocolate. If you can figure out videoconferencing, great. If not, encourage everyone to send a selfie of their holiday setup and beverage of choice in a group chat. The photos will make you grin—and hopefully get you through the day. For bonus points, send a bottle of bubbly (or another drink of choice) to everyone on your toast list so you’re all drinking the same thing. RELATED: 8 Fresh Ideas to Upgrade Your Virtual Parties For example, instead of saying, “I’m not celebrating Christmas this year because I can’t be with my family,” rephrase it to, “I’m celebrating the end of a tough year, and the beginning of a bright future.” Or focus on other things (besides your far-off loved ones) that bring you joy: being home, activities you love, hobbies you enjoy, or (dare we say) meaningful work. RELATED: How to Stop Ruminating on Negative Thoughts and Past Experiences “Make a conscious effort to get enough sleep, eat right, exercise, laugh, and get emotional support from loved ones to maintain your physical and emotional health,” she says. “The bottom line is…you still can find ways to broaden and add to your life and, as a consequence, grow emotionally stronger, even…when you might not be in person with your family and friends during the holidays.”
